Speak up, a poem

I find myself being quiet to avoid confrontation because my parents were scary when I was small and there was not allowance for my expression. Funny though, because last night at work I got written up for speaking my opinion. I have fought hard for the healing of my internal system and many parts have …

Svengali wears a cowboy hat 2/22

Something happens on the inside when you know you're walking on shaky ground but don't necessarily have to be. It's that lump in your throat and the heat that surfaces on your chest when you lie to yourself and proceed in a relationship that is screaming "caution". Nothing about the guy is transparent or quantifiable …

Fitness model exercises wholeness steps

To walk out a life of wholeness, one would first have to know what one wants out of life.  Some people don't want to know why they suffer because they are afraid of uncovering something big that would stir up even more chaos.  I have never been such a person, usually I use chaos as …

Ridiculousness

God asks you to give up you to be more than you thought you could be.  Live in the reality of heaven knowing it doesn't matter what people think of you.  Be possessed by the Holy Spirit and the expectation of others possessing love toward you will disappear.  Self preservation may feel like a protective …

Acting out historical pain

I’m passionate about truth and sharing revelation with whoever will sit and listen, but I only speak to those who have an ear. For years I wasted time and energy trying to spiritually educate church goers about the supernatural ability to be the light in darkness, and realized they would rather be activists. Topics like …

Facing fear and unbelief head on

I rented a cabin, recruited my best friend and packed up the puppy to bring the great outdoors into my line of vision and embrace facing my fear of heights.  The first day we drove with anticipation for 3.5 hours into the North Carolina mountains of Saluda with enough time to check into our primitive …

Where spiritual oppression starts

Oppression is an easier word to digest than abuse, all we have to do is try to promote this message on social media and it gets flagged for being offensive. Yet, the mere idea of abuse is offensive, especially to anyone who has suffered from it during childhood development. My journey is peppered with a …

Healing From Church

You wouldn't think that people who gather together in the name of God, would be able to hurt other people so bad, unless of course you live it. You would hope that emotional relief and acceptance would be found in a place where love is preached. You could have believed that Christianity set you apart …

Breaking up with your parts won’t work

My scientist friend shared she was feeling inadequate after completing her PhD because she didn’t pursue publication of her research, in essence she was being bullied by a cluster of parts within her system. These parts who remind her of inadequacies encompass the bully, critic, failure, less than, angry, depressed and fighter parts. They often …

Parts of me fear the evening

Task Master Part: "Well I have all these ideas during the day and get so emotionally exhausted at night because if I'm not productive during the day I feel like a loser". Distracted Part: "But the sun always calls me and summer is hard for me to focus inside when the warmth comforts". Risk Part: …

Turning out to be me

 

codependency is nurtured

Our society has been overtaken by codependency because it always takes root generationally. When we need to persuade, influence or control others so that our internal emotions can calm down, we have lost our self. We are not responsible for how others behave or react to our behavior because everyone misbehaves at times. To recognize …