Incapabilities

And in trying to avoid the unpleasant aspects of our lives we have missed out on the joys.  Developing an ability to see things as they really are and to find healthier, more appropriate ways of  dealing with the people and circumstances we encounter is not always easy or comfortable.  It's not easy to come …

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Chronic ANYTHING causes cyclic chaos

I at least have a brain cell and won't succumb to the average, normal, status quo way of indulging an escape from relational, emotional and physical pain.  If I have come this far in life and endured the creaking of arthritic joints, pain in my vagina, over-firing of nerves in my legs, debilitation of muscle …

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Ministry can’t satisfy

Tradition can go on for decades because of knowledge and organization, but that doesn’t mean love and Holy Spirit lead it. One of my favorite quotes is, “I have respect for tradition, but I’m passionate for truth”.  Anyone can create their own truth and commit to living it out, but few ask Daddy what He …

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Pool Date Endings

This BARES repeating since summer is coming to a close

Revelations From Daddy in Heaven

That plan failed miserably.  The moment he parked his car we walked toward each other and he kissed me, grabbing my waist and pulling me seductively in.  I loved it.  The rush, the intent, the feel of someone choosing to get that close when I had been pushing people away successfully for over a year. 

Don’t go there, don’t go into re-thinking what you did or could have done differently.  Don’t replay the day, don’t replay the dialogue, don’t label yourself as anything.  Breathe, stare off into space as you sit if you must, but don’t listen to the questioning thoughts that are old and familiar.  Did he lose interest that fast?  Did I look ugly to him without my make-up on?  Did he really play me?  How could I have denied the obvious, that he put in the effort for a hook up and stopped as soon as he…

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Repression requires spiritual eyes

Past events that are too painful to comprehend create coping skills such as distortions, rationalizations, suppression or denial of feelings that often are misunderstood. Our brains are able to block out memories so our conscious can displace the shock or pain of events, especially trauma.  Often we cannot remember, creating a memory block of years …

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We are in preparation

I was in the thick of emotional turmoil last January facing the predicted ending of a relationship with an addict.  I had lost myself and was desperately trying to gain new ground and stand on my own two legs for stability.  I was dreaming every night and journaling every day hoping to make sense out of …

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