I at least have a brain cell and won’t succumb to the average, normal, status quo way of indulging an escape from relational, emotional and physical pain. If I have come this far in life and endured the creaking of arthritic joints, pain in my vagina, over-firing of nerves in my legs, debilitation of muscle memory and movement in my limbs, exhausted my digestive system of all its nutrients, and been left to fend for myself against the conglomerate systems that my vocations and passions push me against, then I would be your poster child for the most recklessly feared female who cannot be deterred by man. I was and am put on this earth to overcome every obstacle that it sets in my pathway.
I have always prophesied that 2018 was going to be the year of my complete healing, and now I am more convinced than ever. I relocated this February and instantly had flare-ups from a concussion the year prior appear that landed me at Emory hospital. Good for me right, I was at the best of the best medical facilities with neurologists to help me find an anecdote to severe stabbing pains in my brain stem and lapses of muscles use and strength in my extremities . But suddenly nothing I shared held any value, an all time too familiar theme that tapped into the lies of my childhood and quieted my questions of why I have suffered so? Where does the chronic pain and fatigue in my body originate? And the all too famous question, “Is there a mental and emotional connection”? Lets face it, because I have done more in my 43 years of life and carried every ailment known to man in my body, I feel I have gained the right to ask why the hell I can’t be healed but pray for everyone else and they claim the miracle of a lifetime. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? Why am I hindered with the chronic cycles of pain and fatigue while a touch of my hand sets the captives free of their lifelong debilitations?
Then through a very unlikely source and blogger on WordPress, I discover that much of what I have lived through is journalistic material. I want to carry around a recorder with me just to explain a day in the life of Angie, much less bring the exploits of Daddy into the average world, but man these body pains and diagnosis from Doctors have left me just as paralyzed as the polio vaccine I got in 2012, and the ramifications of antibiotics that followed. Yet nonetheless, these setbacks and struggles give me a litany of triumphal stories. There is a very real phenomena going on that explains why personality, trauma, abuse and un-wantedness in the womb correlates with the amount of dysfunction in a person’s life. Dr. John Sorno has witnessed and documented the similar traits that all of his patients complain about. He has been interviewed by Donna Hamilton and made major influences in the psyche of medicine that links emotions to sickness.
In all of my moments of pain and dealing with female symptoms, ramifications of vaccines and antibiotics and the approach of conventional medicine that left me far worse off than when I was first diagnosed with auto-immune issues and a plethora of unknown attachments, I realized that my life was unfolding a story of chaos from pharmaceuticals. I lost friends after dropping out of nursing school and gained others by scrubbing their toilets as they ran fortune five hundred companies but lacked the wherewithal to run their own households. Watching with my own two eyes the breakdown of families who subjected their children to a suggested remedy of autism by a governmental public education slant gave me enough clues to realize that I could write books like John Sorno and wear a lab coat during any interview that wanted to unveil the truths about cyclical prescription surges and the likelihood of their sales. I am only a professional on the chronic pain list because I have put myself there and continue to tell my story in hopes of keeping another person from buying into the idea that doctors are their only answer for a healing anecdote.
Maybe if my nerves over-firing and my brain malfunctioning and my muscles not cooperating could be explained, then I wouldn’t demand more proof of a disease. I’d settle for 90% prediction of my chronic pain and fatigue to kill me before I swallow a regimen of hopeful placebos that budget my hard-earned money toward pain pills. I at least have a brain cell and wont succumb to the average, normal, status quo way of indulging an escape from relational, emotional and physical pain. If I have gone this far in life and endured the creaking of arthritic joints, pain in my vagina, over-firing of nerves in my legs, debilitation of muscle memory and movement in my limbs, exhausted my digestive system of all its nutrients, and been left to fend for myself against the conglomerate systems that my vocations and passions push me against, then I would be your poster child for the most recklessly feared female who cannot be deterred by man. I was and am put on this earth to overcome every obstacle that it sets in my pathway.
And for my personal testimony on the mind and matter connection dealing with the mouth, the gut and the brain, click on this youtube video.