I have never been a fan of vulgar language and have walked away from many females taking part in such verbalizations because it hurts my soul. After all, we aren’t born talking trash or even knowing what half the crude stuff being said even means until someone teaches us. How do we learn how to communicate with such sexual undertones? Somewhere along the lines of taking in messages about ourselves through the five senses and definitions of their meaning from our authority figures, many associate worldly beliefs with reality if contortions began before the age of five.
My mother was one who would tell me to close my ears so she could make some sexual comment to her cronies and I would always cringe in embarrassment, hoping they didn’t assume I was an apple that fell from the same perverted tree. My earlier sense of worth and modesty were gravely confused once my sexual abuse started at age three, seems that the common slogan most perpetrators use is, “they are too young to remember anything anyway.” I guess that helps them sleep better at night until of course someone like myself grows up sharing her story and shedding light on the sufferings of a fearful life most violators live out. I have empathy for sex offenders because they most often were violated as children themselves, but the lack of joy and peace they represent is telling of what they can’t forget either. My abuse had me repelling dirty talk and having to partake in subsequent laughter at jokes I found disgraceful, especially if a woman was telling them.
I know from first hand experience that those of us who were sexually violated as kids either shun exploitation at all costs or jump with both feet into vulgarity. Both responses are indeed from a deep wound in our hearts because the body does remember on the cellular level what has happened to it even if our little minds had to block it out,(repression/dissociation), act it out,(promiscuity), or talk it out, (vulgarity/counseling). Make no mistake, what we say are big clues to the turmoil still rumbling around inside our minds that trouble us as adults even after all these years.