Deliverance isn’t a show put on for the church to point fingers at a lesser grade of Christian in their midst. It isn’t a call for sympathy, nor is it a chance for one to claim power that belongs only to Daddy in Heaven. Deliverance has been misrepresented and abused by Christians who mean well, but often cause much more suffering for the oppressed. Once two or more are gathered together to look into the spirit realm, they can name the strongman oppressing their brother. Only when two or more witnesses agree on a predominant struggle, is it told to leave. Exorcism devalues the person and isn’t any more deliverance than writhing on the floor like a snake or vomiting. Deliverance is every believers right according to the red letters of the Gospel that Jesus spoke and it fulfills Isaiah 61 and countless other scriptures. Make no mistake, deliverance is necessary for every Christian to intimately follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. Why? Because deliverance will not be understood by most, nor will it be encountered unless it is appropriated with love and freedom first.
Deliverance is not renouncing vows and chasing generational curses, that is inner healing work necessary after the demonization has been dispelled. Deliverance isn’t listing all the things you can remember and forgiving each circumstance, that also is inner healing work. Holy Spirit is far more capable of sifting through all of the emotions, will, and thought attached to each moment of life that we have breathed, so our attempts at self deliverance are futile as well. Deliverance requires the help from other delivered believers who do not know you or your list of complaints, but simply hear and see what spiritual darkness has compounded problems in your body, thoughts and spirit. With two or more saints gathered together, prophetically interceding for the name of the strongman, it is told to leave, and all of its lesser spirits are expelled too.
I didn’t want to remain the same person I was up North, I deliberately sought out heat in the natural to invite it spiritually and burn away my old nature in Georgia. I knew I had to die to self, but I didn’t know how to orchestrate it. Funny, how Daddy used all of my gumption and “driving parts” of my personality to lead me to fixing someone else again just so I recognize my own need of looking within. I had placed such high expectations upon Dylan that it led to my greatest disappointments when he didn’t live up to his greatest potential. What I wanted for him he hadn’t grasped the vision for. I was let down because I wanted him to run as fast as I did after new found freedom, so when he progressed at a different pace, I questioned deliverance instead of my motives. Deliverance was the turning point to either one of us being able to grasp full truth and adapt positively to it. In yet another way, I was hoping to be let down by the gift of deliverance, because blaming Daddy or someone else for “faithlessness”, allowed me to make everything about instant gratification.
I remember thinking when I was back at ministry school, “what if I pray for healing and it doesn’t happen in front of my face?” The response given to me always fell on someone not having enough faith, either the one praying or the one receiving. But why does someone always have to take the blame just because my prayer wasn’t answered on demand? In a way, I believed that healing needed to occur in order for my “instant gratification” in Daddy’s ability to heal to be re-enforced. The problem that kept growing was when “people walked away still sick” and both of us wondered why. The expectation of a sudden healing being the answer that solves every question for a person is unrealistic. It is just the same with deliverance. If I walk away believing that deliverance or praying for healing needed to produce a certain response in the person, but it doesn’t manifest in the way I expected, I may stop praying for those things. At the very least, I may become cautious at bringing others into an experience that changed my life out of fear of disappointing them. I was beginning to see just how important it is to lead others into the presence of Daddy and release both of them to work on their way of walking it out.
I took all of my experiences that led up to my deliverance, my walking it out, Dylan’s truth telling and my subsequent fear in deciding to move and start so many facets of my life all over again, that I focused on the disappointments and feelings that were still haunting me. Everything I had fought for in my healing had led me to where I’m at now, but it still felt like an up-hill battle. I was sad. I was actually full of sorrow and it had nothing to do with anyone else. I had worked through upsets with Dylan so I couldn’t blame him but something about going through deliverance after 15 years of studying healing ministries, praying for others to be healed, and not seeing lasting change, still left me alone with myself.
Here I was, re-tracing steps I had most recently taken and I felt angry toward Daddy for all the times I had prayed for myself without hearing, tasting, smelling, seeing or much less, feeling anything from Him. I was the one who went to the priest at the Catholic church to demand an explanation for his not talking about salvation after I got saved. I was the one who studied every possible avenue for inner healing but still had an aching heart. I was the one who felt born-again, again after my prophetic deliverance but wanted an explanation from leaders in the church as to why they were not equipping churches with it. I have prayed and fasted and healed tons of people with a zeal that was unmatched for years, often misunderstood and warned about, yet I still felt broken, filled up with lies, and forsaken by the God whom I call Daddy.
Church didn’t lead me to deliverance, Daddy did, but I wanted to share it with other believers. In excitement I shared my freedom with friends just to be further dismissed as a candidate who needed it more than most in the first place. That wasn’t so bad once the need to be recognized from others fell off. My need for approval from notarized leaders was the first drive to go after deliverance. I couldn’t explain the difference they saw or I felt, but it was tangible and mine, something nobody else could steal from me because I sought it from Daddy for years. I didn’t feel anything during my deliverance session but it was so different from any other deliverance ministry that I wanted to embrace my potential change within. The tools that have strengthened my walk and deepened my dependence upon Daddy have come from the coaching I received after my prophetic deliverance. Daily I uncover a new lie that was immbeded in my soul due to suffering. I wish I had more hours in the day to spend with Daddy on these deep issues, but thankfully He wakes me up earlier now than I could have imagined just a year ago. Since settling on this new ground, I ask Him for a specific time in the morning to open my eyes for quiet time with Him, and it is always a few minutes before. I probably shouldn’t be angry with a God who is intimate enough with me to become my personal, fluctuating alarm clock, but it seems He understands and therefore gives me most of the morning and afternoon to bring Him my grievances.
He and I are working out my salvation daily now and most of the time it feels effortless as well as the most demanding part of my existence. I don’t know if other people need Him to the capacity that I do. Many still believe I take my faith to a ridiculous level but what I see them defining it as, seems superficial and surface. It may not be politically correct to admit that most Christians don’t have anything I want, but that is what I see. If I know how much introspection and action is needed to dismantle lies and faulty thinking during a normal day, why would I submit to a lesser way of life by denying that there is more? There is always more and I know it because I have lived it. Just because the church at large doesn’t know how to deliver it’s people doesn’t mean that I have to sit under their yoke of slavery because I have tasted and seen of the freedom. I’m suspecting that more believers are out there who want to walk out in the delivering power of wholeness and mind renewal. It may just be such a time as this for the prophetic outpouring of what deliverance really is, to occur.